How's your bullpoop-o-meter?

Today, I blather.

What is it about getting older that makes us grow more outspoken about things that used to seem small and yet remain silent on things that used to seem big?

Call it maturity, call it grumpification. Either way, it's very real.

I seem to have reached a magical point in my Maslowian self-actualization that never appears on that pyramid thingy. You know you've reached this point when you stop arguing about whether there's a God ("ehn...who knows? Does it really matter?") and start speaking up when the kid serving you at Winners is too engaged in her conversation with the next cashier to hear you politely request that she remove the plastic hanger from your new shirt before putting it in the bag. So you ask her again. And she raises her voice so that her friend doesn't miss ONE SECOND of her FASCINATING tale of how she was SO WASTED at Grad. So you wave your head around a little to try to make eye contact. And she responds by ACTUALLY STOPPING what she's doing to answer her friend's inquiry into what she'd thought of Linda Feinsten's hideous chiffon dress. So you loudly say, "excuse me miss," cutting her off and she looks at you like you're vermin she has just noticed crawling over her counter. Into which face of utter belligerence you shout, "I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OFF THE HANGER. WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING OFF THE HANGER???" To which she snidely replies with that ultimate insult, "Sorry MA'AM."

As an example only, you understand.

(That yappy little chippy had it coming.)

I NEVER imagined I'd reach this point, but I have. And it extends to the way I deal not just with strangers, but with family and friends as well. I now understand my grumpy great-aunts and uncles. They weren't grumpy. They just had finely tweaked bullshit-o-meters.

And there's the nub of it, isn't it? I think after a certain amount of life experience you start to see when someone's being genuine--even genuinely ignorant is okay--and when someone's just being lazy or arrogant or selfish--in other words, bullshitting themselves and/or others.

On the flip-side, you start calling out your own bullshit too. It can be very edifying. Also endlessly humourous.

All in all, I think it hones your sense of individuality and your sense of compassion. You realize you're not the only person in the world with the only opinion on the planet, and that others--who may see things very differently--are just as convinced that they're right. And that's just a-okay. You realize your own capacity to cause others joy...and pain. You see how that thing you said could have been taken the wrong way, and you regret having said it. You feel proud when you make someone else feel good. I'll stop before I crawl into bullshit territory.

And so even while you're tweaked to the old b.s., you are better able to put yourself in other people's shoes for a second and ask, "enh...who knows? Does it really matter?" And once in a while you realize it does matter, and that you've acted out of turn, and you realize why the Golden Rule makes good socioeconomic sense. And other times you choose to be full of it, because sometimes a little bullshit goes a long way.