Do I dare take that final step into the abyss of politics?

No, I'm not talking about my potential nomination for president of our homeowners' association (HA). But while I'm on the subject, you would not BELIEVE the bizarre e-mail battle that our homeowners association recently went through. Okay, quick background: we live on a private road. There are about 13 houses on it. The road is a big loop, a dirt road composed of massive hills that are sometimes un-possible to get up in the winter. Most of our HA meetings and conversations consist of trying to locate a guy willing to plow the 70-degree hills in the dead of January at 5 am. It's a constant struggle.

So somehow, things get really heated when the road talk starts up. I think it's directly related to the fact that we shell out for road maintenance right from our pockets. But this recent kerfuffle had nothing to do with the road. The municipality decided that they're going to pick up our garbage from our homes, instead of having us dump our garbage at a big bin at the base of the road as we've been doing for umpteen years.

When this new practice was announced by one of the homeowners via e-mail, it became clear to me that peace will never come to the Middle East. A battle of such vehemence ensued (by e-mail) that I had to avert my eyes from the screen at several points. It was an out-and-out bout of e-slapping hissy fits.

One guy practically had a seizure in his panic that our road would become a Critter Buffet (we live in a forest). What if, in the intervening moments between when he put the garbage out in the morning, and when the garbage truck came to pick it up, his precious garbage can was attacked by feral bears and racoons and coyotes and squirrels and large woodpeckers?

Then there was the guy who was mad because he hadn't been consulted (there's always one of those), and was upset on principle. And furthermore, he tried to e-mail a complaint to the municipality but his e-mail was bounced back, and he wanted to know to whom he could complain about this inability to complain.

And finally, there was the guy who started it all by having the sheer unmitigated gall to actually request door-to-door garbage pick up. He actually RESIGNED from the homeowners' association in protest! His complaint: too many complainers in the association.

So if this kind of madness can break out over garbage collection, I have absolutely no hope for the Middle East. I also feel that I understand the big fights (like the Israel/Palestine one) better because of this strange garbage battle.

Well, I was actually going to talk about the almost incomprehensible, backwards, unbelievable movement for reversal of birth control freedom in the U.S., but my fingers are tired and thinking about the garbage incident seems to have raised my blood pressure. So I'll save contraception for another day...