I'm living in a Stephen King novel

Ever feel like you're living in a novel by the Master of Horror? If yes, then you understand my life at the moment. Nothing is what it appears to be. Time-space seems to ripple around you in strange contorted waves. You speak, and people look at you as though you're screeching in ancient Mesopotamian. You find blood in the oddest places...

I'm staring into the grease-clogged pores of reality, and I can't look away. And it's not even Monday yet.