Monday, July 10, 2006

You win, pink IKEA storage box.

Aren't you a clever little box. With your razor-sharp edges and deceptive cartoon-like instructions, building up false confidence in the feasibility of putting you together without life-threatening blood loss.

I would have thought it was excessive to need a screwdriver, mallet, wrench, tensor bandage, and roll of first-aid tape to put together a cardboard box. But the wrench did come in handy when I was unravelling the extra spatial dimension built into you, you devlish little hypercube.

And you've also helped me learn some Swedish, my little pink box of pain. For instance, I now know that 'KASSETT' is Swedish for 'suffer, pathetic North American fool.' Or does it mean 'one box, twelve hours'? I'm sure it's all in the accent...

6 Comments:

Blogger Molecular Turtle said...

Ikea is swedish for how the hell do i puth this thing together. Just thought you'd like to know

2:52 PM  
Blogger Ann-imal said...

Glad to see that you bought these quaint little storage/torture devices. I WAS going to indulge myself, but will now pass-over said blood letting and will pay the extra (hard earned) cash for some storage that comes assembled - blood loss optional...

3:05 PM  
Blogger jackp said...

oh no! more storage boxes in my house!!!

it's not like these 'storage' boxes ever get opened...and the contents used...

:)

i'm predicting there will be a rebuttal

9:41 PM  
Blogger angrycandy said...

you bought those cause they were pink, not cause you had stuff to store, i know you sister...storage boxes stress me out. the stress of putting them together (they usually stay unassembled in my closet for about a year, cause, like you, i didn't realize you needed nuts and bolts to put them together) and then the stress of putting the right things in them to store. so once assembled, they usually stay in my closet, empty and mocking me, for another year or so....

10:32 AM  
Blogger whyioughtta said...

No, I definitely needed storage. The pink was just a way to lure me fully into the trap (ooooo! cheese! i'll just reach in and take some...).

And now the red dots of blood all over the pink boxes make them extra special.

Molecular Turtle: I think IKEA actually means 'cheap goods that cannot be assembled in our present space-time continuum.'

Ann-imal: Too right. No more flat-boxing it for me.

Jackp: Now listen...Oh, nevermind.

11:17 AM  
Blogger ni_de_montreal said...

12 hours, huh? now i don't feel as bad about the sofa project. post coming soon, currently in draft format until i upload the accompanying pics to my renamed paradise-adjacent.blogs... you know..

12:36 AM  

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