Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Scream-of-consciousness

Man, I have got to get this project done or the client's gonna fire me...let's see, where did I put that project file...shit, these files really need to be alphabetized...wait, numbers come before letters, right? ...damn, no--I've got to stop procrastinating and get this project done.... ....

... I wonder if the dog needs to go to the bathroom....poor thing, it's really not fair to make him wait like this. I mean, he's a living being....what if it messes up his digestive system to hold it in like this? ...okay, I'll work on the project for twenty minutes, then we'll go for a walk...

...but first I'll read the Times online...just to get the juices flowing....besides, it's important to stay on top of, uh, developments in the world...also, they update the Styles section on Thursdays...that reminds me, I wonder if Gawker has updated its look book spoof yet...ha ha ha...hilarious...

...oh, right...the project. Okay: seriously. What did the client say she wanted again? ...Where's my notebook? God, this purse is so disorganized...wait, didn't I get an e-mail about how filthy the average purse is....crawling with bacteria...maybe I should go clean it out....

..No! Stop procrastinating! ...Okay...so she wants me to make the Web text punchier...'punchier' ...gawd...how do you make human resources programs sizzle? add porn links? ha. ha ha...that would be hilarious. how to get 'a head' in your job...bwahaahaha...

Stop!...stop procrastinating! ...Right. ...'At Company X, our people are our number one asset...' Phew, what's that smell? I detect the distinct odor of bullshit...'People are our number one asset'...gag...Okay...how about 'Here at Company X, our people are more than just assets...they're investors...' What the hell does that even mean? Delete. ...

...Oh God, I forgot about the dog. Better go for that walk now.

...Shit, it's hot out there. I actually saw people running away from the sun. ...wait, is that a sunburn? On my chest? 50 SPF my ass...

...alright...project...Web...human resources...punchier. I have got to get this done or the client's gonna fire me. ...First I need a coffee though. And maybe some peanut butter toast...

5 Comments:

Blogger angrycandy said...

man, i have gotta get july's monthly NCAP project tracking report done...first i'll just check out whyioughtta's blog...

1:02 PM  
Blogger whyioughtta said...

I'll just give my blog a quick check...to see whether anyone has commented in the last 5 minutes...Oh look! A comment! I'd better just take a few seconds to respond...

1:21 PM  
Blogger Ann-imal said...

Hey, didja know that it is so hot outside that you could ACTUALLY fry an egg on the pavement? Let's go find out!

Wait, is that a shiny, dangling object I see?

4:09 PM  
Blogger whyioughtta said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:29 PM  
Blogger whyioughtta said...

...let's see...'our people are our best...' man, I don't know...'resources?'...no that's stupid. ...how about 'our people are...er...cogs in the relentless machine of unfettered greed that is our corporation...' ...no, too honest...

....ooo! another comment...ha ha...shiny object.. good one...is that a deer fly bite on my leg...

5:31 PM  

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